by Jenna christy

The Blog

She Strategy Co's

June 7, 2023

Confronting Perfectionism (& How I Got Over My “Failures”)

Jenna Matalam

“I have to be really good at marketing, have a degree in business, before I can get on launching my business.”

Have you ever had those words come out of your mouth?

That is a lie my friend!

It is always my absolute goal to be as authentic as I can be to you. I will try my best not to be too cruel in my use of words. But sometimes we gotta use big words to shock your system right? 😆

Let me premise this post with a confession.

I’m a recovering perfectionist/achiever.

I share that openly as I continually work on myself.

As someone whose one of her top 5 strengths is an Achiever, I tend to set goals and may or may not care about leaving people behind.😳 

Look, I love people, I’m empathetic to people, but if you cause me to slow down, I’m really leaving you behind. 🤣 Well, except when the Holy Spirit tells me to slow down, but even He has to scream it over me before I totally hear Him! I’m telling you, I’m a work in progress.

In running my own business, I had a hard time in the beginning, I was too hard on myself as you can imagine. When the trajectory of my goals weren’t happening as I expected (key word here: EXPECTATIONS), I dubbed myself as a “failure”, “not really good in business”, or perhaps God was wrong when He called me to the marketplace. I said those things primarily because I wasn’t experiencing the success I was promised. 

What were those promises?

$6-figure business in my first year in business.

$10K launches every time.

Many students enroll in my courses.

Thousands of followers growth each month on Instagram.

Build a team my first year of business.

Now, who promised those things?

Wasn’t even God, to be honest.

It was online gurus from this industry.

Add me in the mix too, since after hearing loads of “success online business stories”, I knew I was going to be one of them. Only, I won’t have to go through the broke phase, just the success phase immediately STAT ASAP please!

Can you relate to that, friend?

Can I expose one big lie in this beautiful industry we have that is the online industry?

It is so toxic this culture of promising “thousands of followers” or “thousands of followers” or ooft I’m gonna write it… “working from the beach” or “working from vacay” promises!

You know what I mean, there was a time, and we can still see it around the internet, European holidays, Bali or some Asian country or the Bahamas holidays but working on the side.😳

Here in the Philippines, I’ve seen European travel seems to be one of the main “transformation” reward freelance entrepreneurs entice people with. That or the $6 figure income.

I have nothing against earning $6 figs or going on holiday, but the way it’s being perpetuated in this industry is beyond.

I’m even saying that not just from the Christian perspective.

It’s so toxic and not helpful to newbies when we don’t include the realities of being a business owner- the bills to be paid, the preparation needed, basically managing people’s expectations!

We end up falling into a mentally and emotionally deadly trap.

I know it well because I’ve been there.

And I’ve apologized and repented to God for the part I’ve played in that narrative, even as a “victim of my own false expectations” myself.

And from the Christian/ Kingdom perspective, let me say this.

It’s always good to go back to the original words and promise from God to you. 

For me, God called me to equip and empower Christian women called to freedom. And in the years that followed, that has deepened and has been refined in how I showed up to serve them.

Admittedly, in the beginning of my online entrepreneurship journey (back in mid-2019), I chose to look at things from my own perspective not His. I took it upon my hands to control my business (a very prideful and ambitious thing to do and I laugh now reflecting back on it😂).

How Do We Move Forward? (how did I?)

It’s not easy for everyone, but what truly helped me was I humbled myself before the Lord (because He really humbled me through my failed attempts at success). I got over myself as in my own plans and surrendered to Him. I’ve redefined “success”, and got deeper into God’s Kingdom entrepreneurship by joining mentorships and programs that fit my faith and values. They were expensive but oh so worth it.

I’ve chosen to invest in building my foundations deeper.

Practically, what I came up with is…

  1. Setting “projections” in my goals instead of “expectations“. 

The difference is when I set up “projections” for example in this quarter, $10K months. If I don’t reach that, my heart and my soul wouldn’t implode in my heart from disappointment. Instead, I saw it as a projection where if I reached $5K months, I’m able to see it as an accomplishment rather than “oh I didn’t reach target”. Does that make sense?

It is a mindset shift, which works for me. 

  1. The income goals should be based on what I truly need first, keep the “more” for later.

This is a good way to keep our hearts humble and protected, especially when we are starting out. There is no use dreaming for $6/$7 figure years if you don’t need that yet, nor are you enlarged at your capacity (inside and outside of yourself) to handle that kind of money.

I am not saying we don’t dream or aim for that, nor God doesn’t want that for you nor will give it to you. I believe in Deuteronomy 8:18 and the Kingdom impact we should be doing.

Friend, do you find yourself in the same spot right now? 

Are you a fellow achiever like me? And you are too hard on yourself?

Do you find it hard to find a healthy spot to pursue excellence and create opportunities for growth without feeding insecurity and a sense of failure?

Comment below your thoughts, I would love to hear them!

I pray the advice I gave above is a step towards your freedom from perfectionism.

Your Next Steps.

  1. If you feel like this perfectionism is a stronghold in your life, I also encourage you to seek your spiritual advisors to pray for you and pray over yourself to to break free from this spiritual influence. Find accountability to help you with the spiritual discipline as well. There will be much work to be done, healing to be received, don’t rush God’s process.
  1. Now if you are seeking help to launch your God dream profitable business, I have opened a few spots on my 1-on-1 coaching/consulting mentorship called “Dreamers Mentorship”, apply or inquire here.
  1. For our Done for You services, check out this link.
  1. For a 1-time only consulting session, book here.


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